Broadcasting Live from Crazy Town

Tha following is a conversation that I've been having with a guy that I've seen around town before, but honestly don't know. Before we get into this good ole buffoonery, there are a few things you need to be made aware of:

1. Yes, I'm bestowing him with tha dishonorable Nigga Please Award.

2. When I originally saw that this seemingly innocent back and forth was quickly spiraling into shinanigans, I decided that it would merrit a blog post. My original intention was to remove tha trouble-maker's name to protect his identity and to fulfill my commitment to not being a complete asshole at all times... but he cut up so bad, that I figured I'd be doing tha general public a great service by including his name.

3. Despite how much he denies it, he did indeed try to holler at my homegirl, Reke. This fool invited her over for breakfast and wine. Yes, please and thank you... Wine. But he wasn't tryin' to holler? C'mon, son.

4. On more than one occasion, I could feel tha undeniable essence of Mimi Plastique creep on up in my spirit.

5. If I have to ask this man (gotdamn politely) to refrain from talking to me one more time, we gon' have some problems.

And now for tha monkey business...


Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 22 at 4:09pm
I remember meeting you at Leimert Park, my buddy stepped on your toe. I tried to nurse the pain by pouring some cold water on it. Hope your toe is fine..I remember saying to myself i hope i see her again...respect.

Nikki BLAK December 23 at 1:47pm
Funny, I don't remember that. Hey, didn't you recently try to holler at my friend, Reke?

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 23 at 2:54pm
No..she hollered at me..i don't holler at woman. I told her lets be friends, i don't think she wanted that. I'm too fine to holler at women meaning i've never had to. I have a waiting list now. So if she told you i tried to holler at her she's a liar. However i do like to uplift and empower people who seem to be in rough situations like Reke would portray.

I think we live in times of instant gratification, people want things right away. I choose to build connections with people. Strengthen my cypher by having positive influences around me. Sex is too boring without a connection or friendship...

In ur case i may be mistaken, don't you have a daughter? You were at Leimert for some venue in the theatre and my buddy stepped on ur big toe..either way its fine if you don't remember.

Bless you and Reke..

Nikki BLAK December 23 at 4:08pm
Wow, that was a WHOLE LOTTA response. LMBAO @ "I'm too fine to holler at women".

*rolls around on tha floor, laughing*

WOWZERS. I don't think you're even her type, so I doubt it was her trying to holler at you... and while we're on tha subject of my good friend since I was 15, how do you think I feel about you, now that you've called my sister a liar? Trust, that's not how to get on my good side. No, I don't have a daughter, no I still don't remember our interaction, and honestly, at this point, I'm not at all interested. Reke and I are both very blessed, thank you. Be well.

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 23 at 4:28pm
Oh i'm sorry then, well i thought it was you. Someone is walking around looking just like you. And my goal was not to holler at you either Nikki..i just appreciate beauty and like to show love and thought your facebook comment was cute. And no i didn't call her a liar luv, believe me if i was hollering i'd be more aggressive. I'm spoilt and usually get what i want.

I think Reke is beautiful and have nuthin bad to say bout her. After she mentioned that all she has to hold at night is a scruffy dog i felt like a woman so beautiful should have good people around her. Which she prob does. Ask her what went down, i wanted to see what her world was like. Its all love Nikki...

Sorry bout the mix up, i love beautiful people and positive energy and love to enjoy my life. Take care

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 23 at 4:29pm
Dang u guys are sisters..you are both beautiful. Peace.

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 24 at 3:42am
Nobody was trying to get on your good side lady. But i guess both you and Reke are free to flatter yourselves.

Nikki BLAK December 24 at 9:00am
Talking, talking, talking. Why are you STILL talking? Please stop.

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 24 at 9:03am
lol..just clearing any misconceptions. Peace.

Nikki BLAK December 24 at 9:18am
Tha only misconceptions are tha ones that you created and continue to perpetuate with your incessant yapping about something, that frankly, nobody really cares about. I asked you a simple "yes" or "no" question, that you really could've just responded to and went on with tha rest of tha conversation. But instead, here we are, a billion messages later. This is stupid. Tha truth needs no proof. If it ain't so, just say so and move on without tha name calling, double talk, back and forth, and carrying on. I'm shocked at your reaction... it's as if I accused you of stealing, or beating my friend down in tha street. If you hollered, you hav a right to as a grown, single, heterosexual man. If you didn't, fine. I. Don't. Care. Ugh. This has been an extremely immature and WEIRD interaction, however, very telling of character, and for that, I'm thankful. It's good to kno, for future reference.

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 24 at 11:18am
I was just a bit shocked..and it came out of nowhere???????????? I came at you with love so i'm not sure why u attacking me. I answer the way i want to answer not the way someone else wants me to answer. Everyone is different, if it takes me three pages so be it. Of course i would react to someone bullshitting about me. I'm jewelzdagod please do some research i make sure i walk the truth.. u commin at me really crazy for someone who just said you were beautiful. But its my fault i thought you were someone else, it is what it is. Take care.

Nikki BLAK December 24 at 11:27am
Sorry, there's no need for me to "research" anything... I have personal experience. Didn't know when I responded to your random, unsolicited message and asked you a harmless question that I would be getting a one way ticket to Crazy Town. Let me off this train. You can stop talking now. Thank you.

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 24 at 11:34am
I'm sorry, god bless you and your right i hit u up unsolicited and you don't know me. Forgive me i really did think you were someone else. Thats why i aske d about your toe..

Anthony Okwudiri Ehirim December 24 at 11:46am
Hey so now that we're acquainted we can b friends, crazytown is [fun]. I'll get you a round trip, lol.I was a bit startled at ur harmless question. I'm harmless too ok. I love you...

Yes, yes, ya'll he did indeed just say he loves me. SECURITY!!!

Nigga Please: The Joe Jackson Edition

This muthafucka is proof that sadly wisdom is not always acquired with age. I'm really angry with him, and that's an understatement. His aloof manner, and tha arrogant attitude that he's displayed so shortly after tha passing of one of his youngest children just reinforces whut we all already knew... Joe Jackson is a supreme asshole. How has Katherine managed to stay married to him for 60 damn years? I'm so, so sorry that Michael and his siblings had to be born to this man and subjected to his ignorance and abuse.



"How's Mrs. Jackson doing?"

"Oh, she's fine."

NIGGA, SHE AIN'T FINE! HER CHILD IS DEAD!

"How's the family?"

"Oh, they're great."

GREAT? REALLY, JOE??? You sir are a monkey. With wings.

This nigga said that "we lost an icon". No, Joe... tha public lost an icon. You lost your son! Nigga, does that mean anything to you?

Apparently not.

At tha very least, he deserves a swift kick in tha ass, but since I can't giv him one, I'll just name him as this week's winner of tha Nigga Please Award and continue to pray for tha rest of tha Jackson family.

I Told You So...

A few weeks back when I posted a blog expressing that I was confused and shocked that a woman had had a child with Mike Tyson, a few folks took it upon themselves to be bothered and offended. In light of tha fact that his 4-year-old daughter had just died tragically, I guess I can understand how they might feel some kind of way, but really, I don't kno if there's any "appropriate amount of time" that must pass before one tells tha truth. Tha situation was brought to my attention, I called it like I saw it, and that was that. Tha point I was making had little if anything at all to do with tha child and everything to do with women consistently making bad choices, selecting terrible mates/boyfriends/husbands, and fathers for their children.

I don't kno about you, but I'm tired of hearing tales of domestic violence, about women being brutally slain my their abusive men, or even worse, reading articles about how a crazy boyfriend with a history of questionable and/or violent behavior has abused or murdered an innocent child. Women are knowingly chosing these men over and over again and bringing them into their homes and around their children! Some woman, who was fully aware of Mike Tyson's instability opted to hav a relationship and pro-create with him. Fuck outrage about my blog... where's tha outrage about all of this violence and these stupid decisions?



Well, unfortunately, there isn't much. According to someone, my blog was "a low blow..." which makes me wonder, whut do you call it when a Heavy Weight Champ is habitually whoopin a woman's ass and raping her? Apparently it's fine, and I shouldn't hav anything to say about it. Supposedly, according to one person, I could've "waited like 6 weeks," before writing about it. Well, outraged commenter... it's funny you should say that, because apparently, Mike Tyson himself couldn't even wait that long before he decided to up and get married.

2 short weeks after his baby girl dies, he's jumpin' tha broom in Vegas? Once again, I'm confused. However, I should probably really stop trying to understand anything pertaining to this man.

It is a shame and should be a crime to protect abusers and not hold people accountable for their actions. If he needs help, then he should go get it. I encourage him and any and everyone on a path to destruction to take a detour and try to make themselves and their lives better. I sincerely hope (though I seriously doubt) that he finds some type of happiness and peace in this new marriage and that they are able to maintain a healthy relationship that is free of abuse. However, old habits don't just lay down and die, and for that reason, I feel a Nigga Please Award comin on.

In tha same spirit of last week's Nigga Please Award, this one is not gonna go out to tha man in tha midst of these shinanigans (though, he too should be hog-tied), but to tha woman. Lakiha Spicer, this is for you! Girl, you are truly cuttin' up, not only because you're fuckin' with Killer Mike, but because you thought it was appropriate to exchange vows so soon after tha death of his child. You are 32-years-old, and therefore way too advanced in age not to hav better judgement.

I pray that tha Lord be with this woman, help her to mature and grow wise, protect her from Tyson, and her own foolish self as well. I don't want them to hav any kids, I want her to leave (or take an aluminum bat to his head) tha first time (if ever) he hits her, and really, that's all I hav left to say for now. However, on tha subject of domestic abuse and violence against women and children, I can't, won't, and don't even kno how to stop talking (or writing) about it. When I don't hav to hear about it or see it anymore, that's when I'll shut up.

And tha "Nigga Please Award" Goes To...

Given tha subject of this Youtube video, tha reciepient of this week's Nigga Please Award might be a bit of a surprise for you, but then again, if you've learned anything about me in all this time, it really shouldn't be.



Yes, this ignorant fool got 21 kids. However, really I ain't lookin at him crazy. Tha ones that need to be tied to a tree and flogged within an inch of their lives are these dumb women. And so, this weeks Nigga Please Award goes to tha trollops that laid down with this negro (sometimes more than once) and made more babies with him, knowing good and damn well he had a tribe of children. Men can't do whut women don't allow. Once those of us with vaginas learn this simple truth, tha World will instantly become a better place.

Don't Judge Me!

I know, I know, I KNOW! I fell off...again. I'm sorry! I been busy! I'll reserve all tha details about whut happened with my poem a day and whut tha hell I been doin', while I was missing in action for basically all of tha month of May for another blog post. None of that is important now. There are two WAY more pressing issues.

#1



Erykah Badu at tha 2009 UCLA Jazz Festival in shiny black pants...



I was there. Yes, she did wear a hoodie with a hat on top. Yes, there was a black, satin sleeping cap under tha hoodie. Yes, she poured out a little liquor for tha homies that ain't with us. Yes, she did whut tha fuck she wanted, too.

Here's thing #2

...literally...it's a thing.



I DEFY YOU to look at this video for any length of time and tell me that this isn't at least one of tha top 5 gayest things you've ever seen with your own eyes. Tha only way this could become slightly more homo is if his clone came out and started dancing with him. And then if they had sex. This, folks, is tha reason why I blog.

Oh, and before I go...lemme go on ahead and give him tha Nigga Please Award. I'm pretty sure he deserves it.

This Week's Nigga Please Award...

This week's Nigga Please Award goes to every major city in tha United States that doesn't have a Malcolm X Library. Get your shit together.

San Diego has one! San Diego! Of all places! Why everybody else trippin'?

I Know You've Been Waiting for It...

This week's "Nigga Please Award" goes to...

Nadya Suleman!

This is tha dumb broad that had 8 babies in January, tha smallest of which weighed a mere pound and a half when he was born. Later, we went on to find out that this woman already had 6 children whom she lived with in her parent's home in Whittier, California. Whut tha hell? GET A HOUSE! Then have 14 kids! You don't live in your parents' house, havin' a tribe of children. It gets better... tha children range in ages from 7 to 2 years old AND Nadya ain't got no job and no husband.

My hands have been aching to slap this woman for a couple weeks now. Supposedly she only wanted to have 1 baby (to add on to tha basketball team that she already had), but ended up with 8 and it was a total surprise to her. Ummmmmm...when you do in vitro fertilization, tha chances that you will give birth to multiple children is exceedingly high! And THEN lets consider tha fact that children of multiple births often face major health and developmental issues, due to tha fact that they're usually pre mature. I mean, a 1 pound baby ain't supposed to happen! That's not normal, nor is it safe. It's wrong. I feel so, so sorry for these children. Why would you intentionally put yourself and your children at risk cause you just got to have another baby?

In an interview with Ann Curry of tha Today Show, Nadya said that she feels that she's been scrutinized and criticized more than necessary, probably because she's a single mother. Ummmmmm...YEAH! Its hard enough raising a child or two without tha benefit of having a mate to help out, so I can imagine that it's infinitely more difficult to do so with 14! Really... imagine having 14 children under tha age of 8... when would you even sleep??? Forreal. So why would you intentionally put yourself in that situation, knowing that there's no one to share tha responsibility with you? That's not even fair to your children.

Nadya says that she has "herself" to offer to her children, and so, I guess, though she may not be able to provide a lot for them as far as material things go, she just has plans on being a really great mother. Really? With 14 kids? Get real, heffa! Whut's gonna happen is that her family and probably tha slightly older children will end up looking after tha young ones most of tha time, cause lets be honest... one person cannot do it all alone. Stop it, Nadya.

I wanna see her when all 8 of them are teething and crying and have fevers and diarrhea. Or how about potty training 8 babies, with 6 others to look after. And she plans on doing all of this, while getting her Masters Degree, cause as she says, "I'll be able to provide for my children once I finish school."

Let's all say it together...

NIGGA, PLEASE!

And tha Nigga Please Award Goes to...

Bill O'Reily... cause he can't seem to shut tha fuck up and somehow doesn't realize that nobody cares whut he thinks about rap.

"And tha 'Nigga Please' Award Goes To..."

New blog, new shit.

If you kno me, you kno I cut up. If you don't kno me, this is your introduction (and let it serve as a warning, too).

There's gonna be A LOT of rampant madness taking place here, so tighten your suspenders.

I'd like to start with tha "Nigga Please" award, which isn't an actual award that I'll be handin out, cause, well, this is a blog and I got a budget that consists of a pack of Now or Laters and an EBT card. Tha "Nigga Please" award is more of a title that goes to a monkey-doodle-fool that I encounter as I journey down tha road of life. It can be a person I kno, or don't kno. They can be male or female, black, white, or another hue in tha patchwork of humanity, young or old. Really, tha only criteria is that they be caught by me, cuttin up.

Shall we procede? Yes indeed...

This week's Nigga Please Award goes to someone with a name that I won't mention, cause my Mama raised me right...

So, last night I had a dream that I thought was pretty funny. It was starring this guy that I used to call myself talkin to quite some time ago (who's name I won't mention...but he raps, and he's from LA). In tha dream -- which only lasted a few minutes, by tha way -- he was giving me a gift. I don't kno whut tha occassion was...maybe it was in honor of Chinese New Year. I didn't think it was odd at all, tho, cause really, I deserve a gift. So, he hands me this big ole, really nicely wrapped box, and I take tha top off...and whuts inside? No, not a dick. It was a coat which was identical to one he had given his baby's mama.Now, bear in mind, in real life I don't kno about any coat given to a baby mama, nor hav I seen a baby mama in a coat...but in my dream, I was aware that he had given this exact same one to her cause apparently, in my dream memory I had seen her in it or somethin. I don't kno. Dreams don't make sense. But anyway, I knew she had that coat and I was LIVID.He smiled this big ole proud grin, and I looked at him like, "NIGGA, YOU TRIPPIN!"And then I woke up.

And cause I had a dream in which he was up to his old monkey-mess, he gets bestowed with tha prestigious honor of this week's Nigga Please Award.