Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Obviously, Un-Cool

I thought I was fly. However, I'm starting to realize that apparently I'm not...nor am I cool, cause I don't dress like this...

And not only do I not dress like that, but I don't understand how it's considered attractive. I would never leave tha house in this outfit:

Or this one:

Yet, apparently women are dressing like this on purpose and they seem to like it. Am I just being hateful? Do I not have any sense of fashion or good taste? I mean, I get this outfit:

I understand it. It makes sense to me. And this one:

And this lady right here is fly as birds:

But this sista right here look a critical mess:

All of this is really making me start to question my opinion of whut is aesthetically pleasing, nowadays. I mean, I get tha concept of "not matching" and dressing "eclectic" and even wearing vintage pieces... I happen to love vintage! But I don't see how these outfits are cohesive, attractive, or even make sense. Everyone looks like they just found these pieces somewhere and threw them all on at tha same time, if you ask me. When I leave out of tha house in tha morning, I prefer to look like I actually have a home. Should that not be my objective anymore, so as to remain current with my wardrobe choices? Any thoughts?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

This Week's Nigga Please Award...

This week's Nigga Please Award goes to every major city in tha United States that doesn't have a Malcolm X Library. Get your shit together.

San Diego has one! San Diego! Of all places! Why everybody else trippin'?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Slept On

My favorite thing about this song is tha "Silly" sample. Sick. This was so slept on! I miss this song...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

April Jones' Daughter

My friend April Jones doesn't have a daughter, but if she did, it would be this strange, random little girl...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


So, I've been threatening to add another regular feature to this here blog, entitled "DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT!", inspired by my good friend, Chas Jackson. Well, actually, it was inspired by an incident with another "friend" who acted a monkey a few weeks back. As I gave Chas a detailed description of tha monkey business that transpired, he shouted, "DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT!" several times in response, and so, here we are. I'll give you tha details of that scenario another time, but for now, we got to talk about your little brother, Chris Brown.

Now, tha first thing he did wrong was havin' his jump off (or allowing her to) text him while he was with his baby-boo. He kno Ree-ree crazy! I mean, really, whut did he expect? Was she supposed to not go into a jealous fit of rage, snatch tha Lamborghini keys up out tha ignition and throw them into tha street? Whut would you do if you were a banshee from Barbados? You would act just like that... and punch him, too... and call him a nigga for good measure. If Chris didn't like all that cuttin' up, then he shoulda stopped messin w/ miss thang long ago, cause she didn't just wake up that day and start actin a fool.

In "response" to her dramatic outburst, after lookin' for tha keys and comin' back to tha car empty handed, he procedes to "touch her soul" (Kanye lyrics off tha 808s and Heartbreaks album) aka choke her out, punch, and bite her. Bite her, Chris? DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT! Apparently, after she's passed out, he scurries off into tha night on foot.

Aside from tha obvious mess, there is so much wrong with this situation. Who bites people? And furthermore, you don't just wake up one morning and start choking bitches. Its apparent that alot of unreported fuckery led up to this right here. These folks do not need to reconcile.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hoes Ain't Recession Proof

According to tha Wall Street Journal's Wealth Report, the steady down turn in tha economy nowadays is effecting even tha hoes amongst us. According to a recent survey conducted by Prince & Associates, more than 80% of multimillionaires who are currently engaged in extramarital affairs have plans to cut back as far as gifts and allowances for their side jump offs. Bear in mind that these gifts aren't anything as minimal as payin' a cell bill so her shit don't get cut off or gettin' her nails done, but things more along tha lines of jet rides and resort vacations. Somethin' like 12% of the individuals polled say, "Fuck a cut-back. I'm just gon let that hoe go."

Friday, February 6, 2009

I Know You've Been Waiting for It...

This week's "Nigga Please Award" goes to...

Nadya Suleman!

This is tha dumb broad that had 8 babies in January, tha smallest of which weighed a mere pound and a half when he was born. Later, we went on to find out that this woman already had 6 children whom she lived with in her parent's home in Whittier, California. Whut tha hell? GET A HOUSE! Then have 14 kids! You don't live in your parents' house, havin' a tribe of children. It gets better... tha children range in ages from 7 to 2 years old AND Nadya ain't got no job and no husband.

My hands have been aching to slap this woman for a couple weeks now. Supposedly she only wanted to have 1 baby (to add on to tha basketball team that she already had), but ended up with 8 and it was a total surprise to her. Ummmmmm...when you do in vitro fertilization, tha chances that you will give birth to multiple children is exceedingly high! And THEN lets consider tha fact that children of multiple births often face major health and developmental issues, due to tha fact that they're usually pre mature. I mean, a 1 pound baby ain't supposed to happen! That's not normal, nor is it safe. It's wrong. I feel so, so sorry for these children. Why would you intentionally put yourself and your children at risk cause you just got to have another baby?

In an interview with Ann Curry of tha Today Show, Nadya said that she feels that she's been scrutinized and criticized more than necessary, probably because she's a single mother. Ummmmmm...YEAH! Its hard enough raising a child or two without tha benefit of having a mate to help out, so I can imagine that it's infinitely more difficult to do so with 14! Really... imagine having 14 children under tha age of 8... when would you even sleep??? Forreal. So why would you intentionally put yourself in that situation, knowing that there's no one to share tha responsibility with you? That's not even fair to your children.

Nadya says that she has "herself" to offer to her children, and so, I guess, though she may not be able to provide a lot for them as far as material things go, she just has plans on being a really great mother. Really? With 14 kids? Get real, heffa! Whut's gonna happen is that her family and probably tha slightly older children will end up looking after tha young ones most of tha time, cause lets be honest... one person cannot do it all alone. Stop it, Nadya.

I wanna see her when all 8 of them are teething and crying and have fevers and diarrhea. Or how about potty training 8 babies, with 6 others to look after. And she plans on doing all of this, while getting her Masters Degree, cause as she says, "I'll be able to provide for my children once I finish school."

Let's all say it together...


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Ain't Nothin' Wrong with That!

There are few things I enjoy more in life than a stack of pancakes. I like them even more when I didn't have to make them or pay for them. Today, until 2 pm, Denny's is giving away free Grand Slams. Yes, I said free. Free pancakes, eggs, bacon strips and/or sausage links to any customer visiting any of their restaraunt locations today. It has been estimated that up to 2 million people will be taking advantage of tha free offer today and that Denny's locations will be capable of producing 100 Grand Slams an hour. Hey, ain't nothin' wrong with that! I'm currently trying to devise a plan to go get me some free and you should, too.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Little Twitty Milk

After 5 hours of labor, at 1:30 pm yesterday, Erykah Badu popped out her third baby by third baby-daddy, Jay Electronica. She say's that she's callin', this child "Twitty Milk", and though I certainly hope not, I don't put it past her.