So, I've been threatening to add another regular feature to this here blog, entitled "DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT!", inspired by my good friend, Chas Jackson. Well, actually, it was inspired by an incident with another "friend" who acted a monkey a few weeks back. As I gave Chas a detailed description of tha monkey business that transpired, he shouted, "DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT!" several times in response, and so, here we are. I'll give you tha details of that scenario another time, but for now, we got to talk about your little brother, Chris Brown.
Now, tha first thing he did wrong was havin' his jump off (or allowing her to) text him while he was with his baby-boo. He kno Ree-ree crazy! I mean, really, whut did he expect? Was she supposed to not go into a jealous fit of rage, snatch tha Lamborghini keys up out tha ignition and throw them into tha street? Whut would you do if you were a banshee from Barbados? You would act just like that... and punch him, too... and call him a nigga for good measure. If Chris didn't like all that cuttin' up, then he shoulda stopped messin w/ miss thang long ago, cause she didn't just wake up that day and start actin a fool.
In "response" to her dramatic outburst, after lookin' for tha keys and comin' back to tha car empty handed, he procedes to "touch her soul" (Kanye lyrics off tha 808s and Heartbreaks album) aka choke her out, punch, and bite her. Bite her, Chris? DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT! Apparently, after she's passed out, he scurries off into tha night on foot.
Aside from tha obvious mess, there is so much wrong with this situation. Who bites people? And furthermore, you don't just wake up one morning and start choking bitches. Its apparent that alot of unreported fuckery led up to this right here. These folks do not need to reconcile.