Is It Sexist That We Keep Bringing Up Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape?

I was perusing Refinery29, in the same manner that I usually do on a weekday afternoon, when I came across a little article about Kim Kardashian and the fashion industry. It was entitled, "Will the Fashion Industry Ever Accept Kim Kardashian?" which I thought was a valid question, considering that most of her business ventures have been fashion related. I giggled and answered with a hearty, "NO," before I had even given the article a chance to contribute it's 2 cents. In case you were wondering, I was right, and according to the article, the fashion kids on the couture playground will always, always, always pick Kim last for dodge ball games.

The article's author listed Kim K's many successful business endeavors and punctuated it with, " ...all from the seed of a sex tape." I yelped. Jesus wept.

And then, after I was done being tickled, I thought, "Is it sexist that we keep bringing up Kim's sex tape?"

Understand that I'm usually the first to bring it up, randomly, even when nobody's talking or thinking about Kim or the rest of the K-Klan. Every time I see their show or a QVC presentation of one of their atrocious K-Dash "fashion" attempts, or one of them is interviewed, I think, "They all have Kim and her sex tape escapades to thank for all of this stardom." In fact, there was a brief period of time when I felt like maybe I was the only one that remembered that Ray J and K coitus production ever happened. It seemed like everyone had forgotten and maybe it was lost on the public that this was in fact the way in which Kim had been thrust into the spotlight. And yes, I intentionally used the word "thrust".

But recently, I've noticed that people have been bringing it up in a very random fashion, that often has little or nothing to do with the subject matter at hand. Oprah asked her about it in a recent interview. When she did, I had to get up off my couch and stand in front of the TV like I was at Sunday service and the Bishop was doing his good preaching. I felt gratified that someone had finally addressed it. Then, there was this article. However, I can't help but wonder if it would be a different scenario if Kim were a guy. Like, for instance, if this were Ray J in an interview -- well, assuming someone would ever want to interview Ray J to begin with -- would they be asking him about a sex tape he made back during the paleolithic age? By anyone's standards, 2007 was a long time ago. Is the tape still relevant? Are we (myself included) "slut shaming" Kim?

My guess is that the only reason that there is a resurgence in conversation about the tape is based almost exclusively on the fact that Kim has a va-jay-jay and not peen. I doubt that at this point anyone would care enough to bring it up if Kim were male. No one asks Hugh Grant about Divine Brown, nor has that incident been brought up in mainstream media in years. Kobe Bryant caught a case for rape, and yet, no one feels compelled to ask him about it in post game interviews. It happened and it's over and that's the general consensus among the public and the media.

Maybe we should leave Kim alone about it. She says she was humiliated by it. She says it's her biggest regret. Some have speculated that she or even her manager mom is the reason that the tape was released in the first place, but I choose (at least, initially) to believe what people say about themselves and their own lives. According to her, that's not something that she would have intentionally shared with the world. Honestly, I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to have those images of myself out there for all of humanity to see, for all eternity. And I can't imagine how hurtful it would be to have people bring it up for the rest of my life. I'd be mortified.

It's fun to poke fun at people. And yes, I did use the word "poke" on purpose. But, I guess the more mature, compassionate, and feminist part of myself has to say that there's a point when pointing and laughing can cross the line and turn into something ugly, mean, and in this case, sexist. I can't promise that I won't almost always have flash backs to Kim and Ray J sexy time every time I see Kiki. But I'll try not to judge her for the questionable choices she made in her past.

Never Good Enough

I watched as Gabby Douglas was ranked dead last in her final two Gymnastics events. Lately, in her interviews, she hasn't seem as bubbly as she had, leading up to and at the time of her victories at this year's Summer Olympics. I think it got to her. And by "it", I mean the media and nasty, ugly acting internet trolls and critics.

By anybody's standards, I think I was a pretty sturdy 16 year old. And yet, I was an emotional mess at times. Despite my confidence and irreverence, I, like everyone else wanted to be liked, congratulated, appreciated, and accepted. I was tough, but plenty of people hurt my feelings, even if I didn't show it. I can only imagine how some of the harsh, careless comments about Gabby have hurt her. I think what makes it worse is that so much of it has come from her own people, many of which are women much older than her, who should know better.

A girl's self esteem is nothin' to fuck with.

Not saying that anyone needs to be coddled and told that every single thing they do is amazing. But, being a complete asshole isn't necessary either.

And this is not to say that everyone in the public eye, regardless of race or gender, male isn't at some point on the receiving end of malicious, ignorant, and mean spirited remarks and critiques, but, I feel like Zora Neale Hurston was on to something. Black women do appear to be the mules of the world. It is because of the combined crushing force of racism and sexism that, often times, at least in the media, it doesn't matter what a Black woman does or how great she is. In the end, it will never be good enough.

Maybe it is because I speak from the unique perspective of a Black woman that I am sensitive to the way this chapter has played out for Gabby and plenty others. Maybe no one else sees it. Maybe I'm making it up and nothing is wrong. But I think that the public has done a little damage to her spirit. It is my hope and prayer that it is not a mortal wound, or even one that will leave a noticeable scar... But that it is easily repaired by all who love her.

Michelle O Got a Big Ol' Butt!... Oh... No

Just when you think the coast is clear and you gon' have a good damn day, Eurocentric Beauty Standards strike again! I almost threw my phone across the room this morning when I read about Wisconsin Congressman, Jim Sensenbrenner's ugly, ignorant, racist, sexist comments about First Lady, Michelle Obama's rear end. According to his big as a single family home ass, " She lectures us on eating right while she has a large posterior herself."

SAY WHAT?!?

First of all, sir, you have 46 chins, so have a fucking seat, but don't break that bitch. Second, what he's referring to as a "large posterior" is what we as black people all over the world view as natural and quite normal. In fact, Michelle's behind is nothing in comparison to how we actually have been known to get it poppin'.

Clearly this is a case of ignorance. Maybe he's not used to what we're used to. Fine, I get that. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Michelle Obama isn't the first black woman he's ever seen. Clearly, in all his years of living on this planet and having eyes, he's come to realize that there are some differences in the physical appearance of white women and black women. And even if there weren't, he has no right as a man to sit around criticizing a woman's body, especially when he's not walkin' around here gettin' his Vin Diesel on.

Him and Rush Limbaugh.

You wanna know what that fool said? Back in February, this is what came out of his monkey mouth: "The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice... I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you."

SON!

1. She may not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue... However, she has been on the cover of Vogue (and PLENTY of other magazines! And isn't Vogue way more prestigious?), so shut your mouth. Forever.

2. She's had 2 babies. Rush Limbaugh, who have you given birth to?

3. Oh, so now we're evaluating folks' qualifications based on whether or not Alex Rodriguez would date them? That's mighty intelligent.

4. I see... So in order for the First Lady to encourage people to participate in physical activities and have higher nutritional standards, she has to do this...

Oh. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

4. Didn't the nation go crazy about how toned and awesome this woman's arms are? Clearly Michelle is in shape. This should not even be a conversation.

5. Michelle Obama is a woman of nearly 50 years old. And clearly she's not fat. In fact, her body is bangin'.

But I realize that this isn't entirely about fat versus skinny. This is about the fact that Michelle is a woman and as a woman, her worth and authority (at least in the minds of sexist, racist white men with too much money, power, and time on their hands) hinges almost entirely on her physical appearance. I find it interesting that in all of this talk about her body, no one has cited the fact that this woman is a Princeton graduate.

EVERYBODY THAT HAS GRADUATED FROM PRINCETON UNIVERSITY, RAISE YOUR HANDS!

*looks around*

*sees no hands raised*

Okay, I'm done talkin' about this, 'cause I'm just gonna get more and more worked up if I continue to think about it. In closing, Patriarchy lives, Rush Limbaugh is still a complete idiot and Jim Sensenshutupheux needs to have his right to utter words revoked. As a black woman, the only way I can find enough peace to be able to sleep well at night is by reminding myself that Sasha and Malia are somewhere swayin' their little non-existent (but soon to be prominent) hips, chanting, "My Mama is hot and fine! She got a booty like mine!"