Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Back Like I Left Something


It took me such an incredibly long time to get into grad school. And by "such an incredibly long time", I mean "I meant to start in the fall but didn't until spring". I know that sounds ridiculous. However, when you've been trying to complete your undergrad degree your entire adult life and your aspirations are to get a PhD, a semester of inactivity is a long time. It feels like an incredible waste of time. And yet, I enjoyed that time because, honey, I was tired!

I kind of feel like I intentionally dragged my feet and didn't make any moves to secure a master's program to enter into immediately after graduating because I was approaching burnout. Whatever the case was, I suppose it was good for me. And of course, the time flew by. When January arrived I entered into a master's program at a southern California college. Literal days after the session started, out of nowhere they started to act a fool with me, reneged on their own very clearly stated school policies and got on my nerves so bad that I had to tell them to kiss my black ass and withdraw me from their institution. Let me tell you, there is so much liberation that comes from telling an entity to kiss your colored ass. Let me tell you something else: I've never regretted telling a person, place, or thing to kiss my whole entire ass. Let me tell you one final thing: In this instance, it was the move and the absolute best thing I could have done.

That school had been my not first choice. Now, they had wasted my time and once again, I was not in school and had to let at least another semester go by. I was pissed off.

I went back to my first choice. I hustled to get my application submitted along with my essay, letters of reference, and other necessary documents. I got in.

I just spent my entire summer pretty much completely immersed in this program and now, as the fall semester has begun, I'm back to school -- again. I feel like I've been in school my whole life. Jesus, help. I feel like all I ever do is school work. It's been good. But it's alot. But, I'm learning alot. But dis tew much. But, yay for education! This summer alone, I feel like my mind has expanded more than it ever did in pretty much all of my time completing my bachelors. So, yeah -- we in this thang!

I'm incredibly blessed to have the ability, resources, and opportunity to pursue my education. For a long time, I didn't. Most people in the world don't. I don't take it for granted. This is a privilege. This is an unearned advantage that will undoubtedly give me access to more unearned advantages. That's real. That's the unattractive truth. Even as I allow myself to be honest about being tired, overwhelmed, and even at times bored with the routine that is school, I think about my mother's mother and her mother and my girls. I get to stand in this space. When you consider that I'm just a black girl from Inglewood who was raised by a poor, disabled, single mother and dropped out of college, the reality of that blows me away.

Monday, March 11, 2019

We're Getting to the Real Good Part



Have you subscribed to my essays, lectures, resources, and insights on Patreon, yet? If not, you're missing out on a really transformative exploration and discussion of the Ancestors. Utilizing art, written work and other media, we have been deep diving into the ancestral lives of those who came before and interrogating the ways in which their realities and fates impact ours in the present. It is painful, enlightening, inspirational, and liberating. Subscribe at any level (contributing any dollar amount available on the subscription teirs  and gain access to every resource, every lecture, every essay and every single bit of exclusive, original content that I provide for my Patreon community.

If you would rather not subscribe but just feel compelled support the important work that I'm doing to facilitate social change, create tools to disrupt and dismantle systems of oppression, and teach liberation through common sense and ethics, you're always welcome to make a one time contribution in any amount that you choose to 
paypal.me/BlakBirdPublishing.

All donations no matter how lavish or modest and patronage on any level is always greatly appreciated and simply ensures that I, a black woman, am not constantly producing knowledge and art and ultimately laboring for free. The more that I am able to be supported in my work with more than just applause and kind words (which are welcomed and valued), the more work I am able to produce. It would please the ancestors, indeed.

Speaking of of pleasing the ancestors, if you have been coveting  the shirt that I'm wearing and have the desire to support a woman of color -- which I would very much so encourage during Women's History Month -- go here, put one in your cart, add another in redfor a friend, check out, be blessed and be a blessing.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Hey, I still do poems! I'll be dusting some of my very best off on Wednesday night at The World Stage in Leimert Park at 8:30 pm to share. I hope you're able to stop by! And the night isn't just all about mywork -- you can come early for the Anansi Writer's Workshop (perfect if you have some poetry or prose your working on and want to get feedback about) and/or stay later for the open mic (if you want to share a completed work or are just hungry to hear more).

There is the request of a $5 donation at the door.

The World Stage, in case you didn't know is a cultural institution in Los Angeles and a haven for black art, located in "The Harlem of L.A.", Leimert Park. It's an important place that has fostered some important work and it is always an honor for me to read there. I look forward to hopefully seeing you there.

4321 Degnan Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90008
7:30 pm - 10 pm



For details on future performances, events, and other fun stuff, be sure to check in at the home of all things Nikki Blak,  blakisbeautiful.comand follow me on all the social medias! You can also subscribe to me on Patreonand get your learn and burn [it down] on. I'll see you there.

Wednesday, March 6, 2019


ANNOUNCEMENT!

By it's very nature, Patreon, is a space and resource that is not equitable, meaning that everyone cannot possibly gain access to the benefits and services provided there. Firstly, you have to have access to the internet, which is proving to be the most obvious divide between the rich and the poor. Then, you have to possess a device that allows you to make use of the internet. Finally, you have to have either a credit or debit card to pay for a subscription. All of these hoops that one has to jump through to even get to step one of subscribing could likely prove to be entirely too challenging. If you're saying to yourself, "Nikki, those are basic things," or have not considered that for many, internet, computers, smart phones, bank accounts and credit cards are just not accessible, congratulations, you have class privilege.

With that in mind, I was feeling quite convicted about the fact that the way that I had my Patreon set up was perpetuating so much of what I claim I despise. The idea of requiring people to pay moreto gain more accessto something that, I don't consider to even be optional or a luxury, but should be readily accessible and widely distributed. Yes, having been socialized under capitalism, it totally makes sense to us that the more you can pay, the more you should have -- however, that goes against everything I believe to be right. Some people don't have more than $5 of discretionary income that they can afford to spend on something that isn't food, rent, utilities, or transportation. Why should they be penalized or have access denied to something that I'm clearly already doing the labor of providing? It made no sense. It wasn't ethical.

As a result, last month, I re-vamped my Patreon subscription service to a pay what you can model. The lowest tier at which you can subscribe is $5 per month and currently, the highest is $150 per month. You know what you can afford to pay. All that I ask is that you put your money where your heart is. If you choose to subscribe, I thank you, encourage you to take full advantage of the private learning space and resources provided, and maybe tell a friend.

Contributing at the lower levels gives you access to the following:

  • Aquarterly "Experience List" loaded with thoughtfully curated resources that provide the foundation for our discussions in the private learning space
  • Access to that learning space
  • A quarterly study guide designed to challenge you in your critical thinking about and connection to our areas of exploration as we metabolize the materials in the Experience List
  • Video lectures in which I dissect and provide insight about current events and pervasive social issues as they pertain to our areas of exploration
  • My own original written work that further analyzes, interprets, and interrogates our resources
  • Access to me for any questions or further dialogue
  • Tools, goals, and inspiration to go forth and co-create a more just, equitable society.
Subscribing at the higher tiers gives you access to the same cirruculum, space, and resources. However, you have the added benefit of knowing that by contributing more, you're ensuring that I am compensated fairly for the labor and time that it takes for me to curate resources and generate exclusive content, as many subscribers may not have the means to pay more than the minimum. You can think think of it as a sort of scholarship that you're making possible. When we all contribute what we are able to in a collective effort, everyone is able to benefit and no one goes without.

I'm trying to do my part to create and live in a world where that is the expectation and the practice.

I thank you for doing your part as well.
If you would rather not subscribe but just feel compelled to support the important work that I'm doing to facilitate social change, create tools to disrupt and dismantle systems of oppression, and teach liberation through common sense and ethics, you're always welcome to make a one time contribution in any amount that you choose to paypal.me/BlakBirdPublishing.

All donations no matter how lavish or modest and patronage on any level is always greatly appreciated. It's Women's History Month and I hope you're in the spirit of supporting businesses, organizations, and movements run by women as well as women artists. If not me, take your pick! There are so many of us out in the world doing great things.

Friday, February 1, 2019



Happy Black History Month! Just checking in to let you know about what's going on for the month of February and to give you something to look forward to besides constant shivers and general dreary weather.

This Monday, February 4th (Rosa Parks' birthday), I'm one of the featured poets at Poets and Allies in Altadena. I always love reading at this spot and would love it more if you would join me for a night of poetry, that is if you happen to be in the area. Details:


Sidewalk Cafe
7:30 PM – 10 PM
2057 N. Los Robles Ave.
Pasadena, CA 91104

In other news, this month in Patreon, we will be discussing the ancestors -- mine, yours, er'body's. I'm really excited to get into this topic with the exploration of art, written work and other media and encourage you to jump in with me. If you have yet to subscribe now is the perfect time because it's only gonna get better and better from here. If you would rather not subscribe but just feel compelled support the important work that I'm doing to facilitate social change, create tools to disrupt and dismantle systems of oppression, and teach liberation through common sense and ethics, you're always welcome to make a one time contribution in any amount that you choose to paypal.me/BlakBirdPublishing.

All donations no matter how lavish or modest and patronage on any level is always greatly appreciated and simply ensures that I, a black woman, am not constantly producing knowledge and art and ultimately laboring for free. The more that I am able to be supported in my work with more than just applause and kind words (which are welcomed and valued), the more work I am able to produce. It would please the ancestors, indeed.


Speaking of pleasing the ancestors, if you want the shirt that I'm wearing and would like to support another woman of color, amazing artist, mama, and good friend of mine, go here, put one in your cart, check out, and be blessed.